Hollow
by priamos
Summary: All the troubles he has faced as a child comes back to haunt him in a deadly form. Will he perceive like he use to? How much more is he willing to take and will he survive it this time...? Yaoi later on...
1. The Appointment

AHH!!! MY BRAIN!!! IT IS EVIL!!! Yes, another story from moi! Well now I have another story to keep in the back of my mind... Please read and review... let me know what you think and if I should continue it...

**Disclaimer:**Let me just say it now and FOREVER... I don't own Beyblade... and I don't own Kai!!!

**Pairing:** Um... not sure right now... might be a TyKai fic later on

* * *

Kai continued to sit in the waiting room of the local hospital tapping his finger on the armrest of his chair impatiently. Every so often the crimson eyes would glance up and just watch the hands of the clock tick away extremely slowly. A growing sigh worked its way out of his throat, as Kai felt himself caught in yet another coughing fit. 

He had been experiencing such sudden bursts of the need to cough something out of his lungs. They had been reoccurring at different times over the past few years, but have grown more in their frequency in the last six months. That was the reason that the twenty-one year old phoenix was even at the hospital, after being sent there from his doctor's office.

Kai went to Tokyo University and had managed to bunk with Tala Ivanov over all his years at the school. Tyson Kinomiya also joined them at the school, Kai unsure why the dragon even bothered to attend college, seeing he wasn't the best student back in the lower leveled schools. Rei left once again to join his old village and remained there ever since the battle with Team Bega. Max went back to America with his mother to help her in her research. Last they heard from him, Max was attending some prestigious college in America and was 24/7 in the books.

But since he first attended Tokyo University, Kai had been experiencing his coughing fits, along with a case of pneumonia, and a few cases of bronchitis. Kai wasn't one to want to rush over to the doctors and want this check up; it had been Tala who insisted that he go over to the doctor's office in the first place. But no matter what medications he had gotten, Kai found himself with another case six months later. Then his doctor sent him over to the hospital doctors to do a more extensive research on Kai with the files and programs that the hospital had its disposal.

Kai looked back at the clock. It had been two minutes since last time he looked. It was his second visit in two days, yesterday being the day they examined him for his blood work. He groaned, leaning his back against the chair and pressing his head back onto the wall. Gazing up to the ceiling he remembered the events today had already brought him.

Tyson had insisted on Kai spending the day training after Kai was done studying. The dragon continued to complain how he was going to lose his edge if he didn't practice, and he insisted that Kai be his trainer. Tyson's excuse was that Kai was the best trainer, because he was so strict and didn't continue to chant how good he was.

Smirking, that wasn't Kai at all. He never would tell Tyson any compliments because he knew it would go to the bluenette's headway to fast and he would never hear the end of Tyson's voice. Fixing his eyes on his Dranzer Gigas blade in his hand, he remembered he hadn't battled since he broke his blade battling Brooklyn. Dranzer had disappeared after that for years, until recently when he continued to have a calling in his dream.

Every night he would hear the voice of a bird echoing in the darkness and see a shining bright red light coming towards him, but each and every time Kai would reach out towards it, the light would recede back. Kai never could understand that dream, and it haunted him every night, until he finally did not reach for that light and woke up to find the warmth of his blade.

Sighing once more, Kai watched as people came and left from the different corridors, all indulged in themselves, having no time for what each and everyone else had to say or do. Kai watched everyone, noticing how self-absorbed they all were. Maybe he was too. Of course he was. He was only human, it was human to be self-absorbed. Everyone he knew, cared to or not, was self-absorbed in one way or another.

"Kai Hiwatari?" Glancing up, Kai was relieved to his name finally from the nurse looking around the waiting area for him. "Follow me." Kai did as he was told, and the woman led him off down and ushered him into one of the doctor's offices. There already was a man dressed in a white work coat sitting at the desk and flipping through some files.

"Take a seat, Mr. Hiwatari," said the doctor, pointing to the chair across from him on the other side of the desk. Pulling the chair out, Kai sat quietly in his seat, waiting to hear what the results were. The doctor was silent for another minutes, and Kai's patients were growing extremely thin. He had a final paper due in two weeks, and needed all the time he could get on it to finish.

"All right, Kai. I got the lab results back on your blood work, and I must say...things aren't looking good," said the doctor placing the file back down flat on his desk.

_"I could have told you that. I have some fucking bug,"_ thought Kai, declaring it best he kept it to himself.

"You see, your red blood cell count is rather low, as is your platelet and WBC as well. With these finding I have a few theories I wish to examine. First of all, I am going to need to take a CAT-scan of your entire body. There might be something inside of you that we can't detect in the blood work to be positive..." said the doctor. Kai kept his constant frown and nodded. "The nurse will show you to where you'll scan will take place. It should not take long to get those results back..."

------------------------

Kai reentered the same office once again after his CAT-scan. He felt tired and annoyed at spending so much time at the hospital for a stupid bug that would just need some medicine to kick in the butt. The doctor's face was pinched and frowning, his brows knitted together in concentration and worry. Kai could feel his heart beat slightly faster, but would not allow such things to be visible to the doctor.

"You say you don't smoke correct? And you're only 21?" asked the doctor.

"That's correct," replied Kai, a little irate about how long this all was taking. The doctor nodded, and looked Kai in the eyes, his own being soft and compassionate, like he knew something that was going to hurt Kai. Bracing himself for what ever was to come, Kai nodded his head slightly, wanting the information right then and there.

"Well you see Kai. With the help of the CAT-scan, we were able to detect a problem growing inside your lungs..." Kai wished that he would just stop being around the bush. Of course there was something with his lungs. He couldn't stop coughing for years already. He wanted to hear something new, something that wouldn't be redundant. "And what we did notice is going to change your lifestyle forever Kai..." Kai innerly growled, wanting him to get on with it. "Kai... we have come to he conclusion you have lung cancer..."

That hit Kai like a freight train. His eyes widened, pupils shriveled up inside of him, mouth hung open... A virus, a bug, those he was ready for...but this... no... it was impossible... there was no way Kai could have cancer...

* * *

Short, I know, but I promise much longer chapters... OK, OK, kill me now... after you go and visit that little purplie button righ under here...and right me a nice little note!!! so until next time...

_lil phoenix_


	2. Reflection

**Authoress' Note**: Meep. Sorry for the long update. I've been going on a writers block for _all_ my stories... that's soo not fun. And I wrote out my next _Twilight_ chapter in school... and LOST THE LAST PAGE I WROTE! o.O so I've been in a bad mood... so why not make a sad chapter... hmm... what story could hold that??? Oh yeah... THIS! So here we go. Short but argg... I'm still trying to regain when I wrote earlier...

* * *

Chapter 2-  
_Mom said it was OK to cry… I never met my mom…_

"Kai... we have come to he conclusion you have lung cancer..."

No, it was not possible. There must have been some kind of mistake, there was no possible chance that Kai—He was Kai, _the_ Kai Hiwatari. No, Kai shook his head in the disbelief of it all. He could feel the tears of anger swelling up in the corners of his eyes. Part of him wanted to tell him it was the truth, while the rest of him, the majority of him told him that this was some kind of prank.

"I've gone through your medical records and have come across a few things that confirm this. You have records of coughing fits, along with a case of pneumonia, and a few cases of bronchitis. All within a few years time," stated the doctor flipping through the records.

Kai was speechless; he wanted to yell at this man for his outrageous and devious claim about his heath. No, Kai probably had some stupid bug that was no big deal. They must be pulling his leg, and Kai was deffinetly not in the mood for this.

"But it is strange for a person at your young age to develop this cancer without smoking," continued the doctor. "There are other variables in this though." Kai looked up and at the man through his tense face and shaking eyes. Gripping the armrests of the chair, Kai waited patiently. This man obvious took pleasure in drawing out everything.

"Genetics are a factor in this. Has anyone in your family ever had this cancer that you're aware of?" Kai's silence was the only thing that he gave to the doctor. How the hell was he supposed to know? He had no memory of his parents, and Voltaire, like hell did he know anything about that man. Not that he cared too.

"Well then there are other explanations besides smoking and genetics… air pollution, diet, your pneumonia could have aided it, radon, radioactive chemicals, asbestos exposure…"

Kai stopped listening… radioactive chemicals… BioVolt. Wanting to kick him for everything, Kai kept quiet and the doctor took this as a sign to continue.

"I need to know your work history Kai. Were you ever exposed to any of the items I previously just said?" Kai nodded very slowly. Damnit, he should have known to go and get a physical after he got out of BioVolt for the second time…

"Kai, there are four stages of lung cancer. The first two aren't as bad as the second pair. All they do is determine recovery rate. Yours is a level three type, so I want to start the radiation treatment and put you on chemotherapy as soon as possible.

"If we start immediately, our chances of helping you are greater than if we wait too long," stated the doctor. Kai nodded. "I can schedule you start chemotherapy… give me a minute… I shall be right back…"

Kai wouldn't watch as the doctor left. He wouldn't believe this was all happening. But BioVolt, the place he had escaped from so long ago, the place where his childhood and simple human emotions were stolen from him, was not done with him…

He couldn't let this sink in to his soul, but it was a reality. All the chemical agents he and the Blitzkrieg Boys had been exposed too, it was back to haunt him, to finish him off.

A few minutes later, the doctor came back with a light smile on his face. "You're in luck, Kai. We are able to give you your first treatment of chemotherapy. If you come this way, we can proceed." Kai reluctantly stood up from the chair and followed the man down the hall way, his bangs covering his eyes…

----------------

The drive back to the university seemed to take forever and would not end. The miles dragged out, the Cold Fusion and Story of the Year songs he blasted on his car stereo were his only comforts. "Rage" was a popular one of his right now, and Kai found himself drowning in the heavy bass and screaming of the singer. Yeah, with this he could drown out everything. Kai couldn't even hear his own thoughts…

But then "Rage" was over and was replaced by "And the Hero Will Drown". Kai could only growl as he finally felt it all sinking into him. The chemo had gone well… well how the hell did he know the difference if it went well, or if the doctor was lying to him?

Expect to be drowsiness, nausea, blah, blah, blah. Well, the doctor did tell him that he was going to be exempt from classes now on. He'd have to get everything from other students, and the doctor was going to immediately call up the school and report this.

Kai didn't want anyone to know of this. He couldn't allow anyone else to know. No, they'd think he'd be weak. Tyson would probably have a field day, teasing and taunting him through out this whole thing.

"_Swim in the smoke, and the hero will drown, intoxicating beauty tears everything down…_"

Kai slammed on the breaks of his car, just barely missing a head on collision with a shipping truck just in head of him. The Porsche slid to a stop, just inches from the T-bar. The Russian could feel his heart pounding, as he breathing started to become a little labored. He was lucky to notice that in time.

The music was pounding but Kai could find himself able to hear his own thoughts now as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. The others… Tyson, Tala, they were going to find out… no! NO! He couldn't allow it. He would let them know of his weakness. Tyson would be easier to hide it from. But Tala, he lived with Tala.

Nausea, how could he hide that? And explaining the classes. Who the hell was going to get his tapes there to record the lectures? Oh fuck, he was going to be so screwed.

Kai shoved aside all thoughts the rest of the way, blasting the music even louder. _"I'm probably going to be deaf out of this…"_

The rest of the drive home was safer for Kai; he didn't have anymore near-death-collisions. Pulling into his parking space in the layered lot, he turned off the engine and rested his head on the steering wheel, careful not to lean on the horn.

Another little coughing fit… this was real. Closing his eyes tightly to trap in the tears forming, Kai wouldn't allow himself to cry. No, he wouldn't do that. That would show weakness. He had to keep his head up, he had to keep going, and he had to… Kai heard a smack against his car window.

Jumping out of his skin, Kai leaped up and turned to see Wyatt Smithwright plastering his face on the passenger's window. Kai's heart was racing until he noticed who it was. Wyatt's face blushed a bright red color.

"What was that for?" asked Kai stepping out of the car, grabbing the papers that the doctor had given him, filled with numbers to call for counseling, and the bottles of medicine incase he felt a fever or a cold coming on, also another bottle for his nausea. Wyatt blushed yet again.

"Sorry Kai, I just went to your dorm room and Tala said you had gone out. Then I saw your car so I ran over and tripped. Sorry if I scared you," said Wyatt. Kai nodded, and waved it off.

"What did you want anyway?"

"Oh, I was wondering where you where. You missed class today, and I wanted to make sure you got the notes…" Kai stopped short a second, Wyatt almost running into the Russian. Kai innerly smiled. Maybe he found his delivery boy…

"Wyatt, I need to ask you a favor," said Kai.

"Oh, anything!"

"Listen, I can't attend my classes for a while—"

"Why not?"

"That's not important. I need to you to take my recorder and make sure all my lectures get taped," said Kai. "I'm going to need you to give it to Tala for me. Do you think you can do that?" Wyatt nodded his head eagerly. It was a good thing Kai and Wyatt had majority of the same classes together.

"No problem Kai!" said Wyatt. "I'll do it!" Kai nodded thanks to Wyatt, and watched as the brown haired boy ran off towards his own car and pull away. Kai let out a large sigh of relief, followed by a little coughing.

He noticed something dripping out of the corner of his mouth. Wiping with his thumb, he noted the red tint to it. Kai innerly growled…

------------------------------

He continued towards the dorms, lost in his own thoughts. There were students loitering in the hallways; a few were conversing about classes, while others were making plans, and some were studying in the hall while their roommates were in the middle of banging someone.

But Kai didn't notice this; he didn't notice anyone. His eyes were trained and focused on the floor in front of his feet. Weakness. That's all he was now. He was weak; he couldn't defend himself from himself. How pathetic. He gripped the file in his arm tighter and the bottles in his hand until his knuckles were white, not wanting to part from them. If he did, someone would be bound to find out.

"_This isn't real. I'm in a nightmare. A fucking bad nightmare. I need a nap. That's it I need to fall asleep in this dream so I wake up in reality-"_

Kai was knocked down to the ground on his back, the file and bottles flying out of his death grip. Laying sprawled out on the floor, Kai had a blink a few times to get his boundaries back in line. Looking up, he noticed Tyson was sitting on his ass, rubbing his forehead. Noticing the papers and medicine were close to the Dragon blader, the Phoenix quickly grabbed them and stood up on his own.

"Hey…sorry about that Kai," said Tyson, who had offered his hand to help up his old friend. Kai ignored him.

Weakness…

Kai proceeded to continue walking down the hallway, just completely ignoring everything and everyone in his sight, including Tyson. The bluenette was worried.

He had just "borrowed" one of Kai's shirts and the Russian hadn't said anything about it. Kai always was on top of Tyson when he took his things without asking. Which, he did frequently to annoy the elder and also to give him a reason for seeing each other.

And Tyson couldn't help but notice the sullen look on Kai's face as he walked away. His brows knitted together in concern for his old friend, and he was ready to go and ask him, until he heard the shrilling cry of Hilary coming towards him.

Remembering his reason for running down the hall, Tyson took off in a flash.

"GET BACK HERE YOU ASS HOLE!" cried Hilary running pass Kai, barely noticing him and chasing the midnight blue boy down the hallways.

-----------

Twisting the doorknob to his dorm room, he found it unlocked. Great… that meant Tala would be in the room and would most likely question Kai until his death about the appointment, or find something condescending to say to him. Either or, Kai wanted no part of it.

Just as he expected, Tala was sitting on the top bunk he had, flipping through some textbook of his, jotting down notes in a large spiral notebook. The red head's eyes detached from the writing to see his roommate enter and shut the door behind him. The cerulean eyes latched onto the file in Kai's arm and the bottles in his hand as he raised one of his brows.

"How did it go?" he questioned as Kai walked over towards his desk to throw his keys on the tabletop. Purposefully ignoring the question, Kai settled the file and bottles into his desk drawer and locked it, only rising Tala's suspicions even more.

Kai turned his attention over towards the monitor of his laptop and started to type away on the Internet, immediately getting a message from Wyatt.

"_I thought I just left him… oh… his phone…"_

letitrip23: Yo, Kai. I totally forgot to give you your notes!

PhoenixInferno: No problem there. Just drop it by when you get the chance.

letitrip23: Alright! Sorry again!

Kai groaned; this kid never took the hint did he? His fingers started to type away at the keyboard as he popped up the web pages to his email account and another window for some more "research".

Tala's eyes were trained on Kai's computer screen, but the bluenette picked up the laptop and moved it into his bed with him, directly under the Wolf.

Groaning inside, Tala went back to his book, but still curious about Kai.

Flipping through his email, Kai deleted all the trash he kept getting from Tyson. Never again would he give Tyson his email account or his screen name to AIM. NEVER!

The only messages he left were those from the BBA, one about some tournament during Spring break, and another about new BBA regulations.

"So, what did the doctor say?" asked Tala, ask Kai started to research more about lung cancer, coughing a few times on his own. But no blood this time… good…

"You should go and have an appointment at the hospital," replied Kai. _"He was there longer than me…"_ Tala closed his book and hung his head over the bed, looking down at Kai.

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly healthy… now spill… what is up?" Kai opened his mouth to say something, when he got this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"_SHIT!"_

Jumping up from his bed, Kai placed his hand over his mouth as he rushed into the bathroom in their dorm room (A/n: I know dorms don't have bathrooms… but this one does!). Slamming the door behind him, Kai rushed over to the toilet, and lifted the seat to spill his guts into the bowl.

And it was starting; Kai couldn't stand the taste in his mouth, as he was able to finish emptying all the contents in his stomach. This was what he had to look forward too… just peachy. After a few minutes, Kai wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before flushing the toilet and washing his hands and mouth out with water.

-------------------------

As Kai had run into the bathroom, Tala jumped off the bed and watched him dash. Something was up, and Tala wouldn't settle for it; Kai was his best friend, his _only_ friend. The Abbey completely fucked over any chance Tala could have with friends. Everyone feared him, or hated him. Except for Kai and the other Blade Breakers.

But Tala's eyes scanned over the computer screen and his jaw dropped at the web site Kai was visiting. Cancer… No it was not possible! Kai must have been doing some research. But as Tala further explored the open window, he came across "symptoms", and on top of the list for chemotherapy was nausea.

Tala looked at the bathroom door, and could hear Kai. Tala's eyes widened as he looked back at the page.

Kai emerged from the bathroom, feeling a little bit better now that he couldn't throw up anymore for now. But as he looked over as saw Tala standing with his arms crossed next to Kai's bed, the bluenette realized that he had left the window open. Kai's face paled. Now Tala knew. Oh this was just not his day…

"Would you care to enlighten me about this?"

* * *

o.O Someone knows!!! Short... I know... not very well descriptive... I know... I'd better not lose my touch! -punches self in the head- Until next time...

_I'm no longer a myth...  
_**lil phoenix**


	3. Snow Fall

_It is always nice to have a guardian angel watching over you…_

The room was silent as the occasional tapping of finger on the keyboard and flipping of pages echoed, bouncing off the walls. Tala continued to type on his laptop, trying to be as silent and discrete as his possibly could as his roommate was tucked in his bed, trying to sleep.

The treatment had been going on for a few weeks now, and every night Kai would be awake leaning over the toilet. His throat started to burn from all the stomach acid creeping up his esophagus, so the doctors prescribed him yet another medication for from to take. Kai now had counted five bottles resting on his nightstand for him.

Tala had gone to the hospital two days after Kai had found out about his situation. Luckily nothing was wrong with the red head and he even brought back a note from the doctors to reassure the bluenette.

And now, Kai had gotten little sleep pondering everything that happened to him, or what he could remember. But he couldn't understand, seeing as how Tala stayed at BioVolt longer than Kai had, and he was perfectly healthy. Why hadn't Tala been affected? What about Bryan, Spencer, or any other Abbey kid? Pulling the covers over his head, a groan escaped his dry throat.

"You OK?" asked Tala, immediately after hearing Kai's groan. Kai rolled his eyes in their sockets and shifted his weight to turn his back to his friend. Tala had become so extremely motherly ever since he found out about the bluenette's condition. Every other second, the Russian was checking up on him making sure he was comfortable and such. Tala even tried to skip classes a few times, but Kai had been quick to protest that.

"Kai, I have a study group I have to meet and then Hayasa wanted to see me after. You going to be OK by yourself? I won't be back until late tonight, but if you need me…" Kai grunted his answer.

Tala sighed and closed up his laptop, grabbing a few book and his car keys, and heading towards the door. Tala opened his mouth to ask again, but Kai launched a pillow in his direction. Tala shut the door in time for the pillow to bounce off.

Alone…all day…Kai couldn't remember one of those days for quite some time. Hayasa would keep Tala out for a long time. The brunette didn't seem to be Tala's type of girl, but who was Kai to judge anyway? Sprawling on his back, Kai looked up to stare at bottom of Tala's bunk.

Quiet…the room was quiet. Eerie and quiet. No Tala bugging him, no teachers lecturing their asses off, no Wyatt trying to justify why he was late to deliver the tapes, and no Tyson and Hilary arguing over god know what.

Growling, Kai got up. He had finally gotten what he wanted, and now… now he did not want it. Would he ever catch a break? Looking out the single window, he watched the snow crystals fall from the sky. Changing as quickly as he could, Kai grabbed his long trench coat and grabbed the keys to the room. Locking the door behind him, Kai walked his way down and out of the dorm building.

The white sprinkling on the ground crunched under his boots, the wind nipping at his red nose. Pulling the collar tighter around his neck, Kai realized he had forgotten a hat and gloves. Jamming one hand into the closest pocket, Kai continued. He didn't know the next time he would get a chance to be alone.

_I don't understand why this is happening to me. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I didn't choose to be stuck at that damned Abbey; I didn't ask to be a lab rat for Balkov or Grandfather. Those bastards. I am sure they knew something like this could happen. Balkov is dead, and Grandfather's in jail. I am free from them, but they are still haunting me._

His walk took him off of the main campus area and down the streets of Tokyo. Even in the snowy weather people were honking their car horns at the traffic, bicyclists were zipping down the walkways weaving between the people. Everyone had their arms bundled up with their heads buried in their packages.

That was when it hit Kai…Christmas. Looking down at his wristwatch, he looked at the date…December 22nd. He had completely lost track of time since he had first gone to the hospital. Then again, he never celebrated the holiday anyway. He never had anyone to celebrate it with.

Before college, he was stuck with Voltaire until the old man was arrested after the Russian tournament. And after that, he had spend the rest of his school years at boarding school.

School. He had buried himself in it. Not the studies, not the classmates, just the idea that he had some place to stay. Wyatt had been the only one who had gotten close to Kai at the prep school. And now…no wonder why Wyatt stopped dropping by, he had gone home for the holiday break. Tala had stayed at the school, because he _had_ nowhere else to go. Mr. Dickenson had gotten him into the college, and the rest of the Blitzkrieg Boys into colleges of their own choices to get their lives on track.

Tyson was probably at the dojo right now. Kai could just head the Dragon and his grandfather arguing over something rather pointless while kendo katanas went flying around. Kai let out a sigh; at least Tyson had someone to go home to, somewhere to go. Kai had no clue where he was going to go; he had pondered going to Europe. It was far enough from his past to start a new life.

That was if he lived to graduate college. That was if he lived to see the next Christmas. He was no fool and all his own personal research on lung cancer had told him the survival rate for one year was incredibly low and after that one year, it sunk lower and lower.

Gritting his teeth and shutting his eyes, Kai walked faster, his hand becoming numb as he held onto his collar. He could feel his lungs swell and another coughing fit dawning. No…no…no…no…he would not give into it.

The next thing he knew, Kai was one the ground lying on his back to face the snow falling on his face. A load of bags and boxers were covering his boy. With his lungs winning, Kai couldn't cease his coughs. He tried to look up, but the Phoenix couldn't see over the boxes.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry. I'm just in a…Kai?" His frozen ears twitched at the sound of Tyson's voice. The smaller man quickly gathered his packages off of Kai. Setting them aside, he offered his hand to help up his coughing former captain. Kai took him up on the offer and stood up.

"Thanks…" he mumbled, finally shoving his faze back to the ground.

"Geez! Kai! Your hands are frozen!" stated Tyson, still holding his one hand. Kai rather quickly retracted and jammed it into a pocket. "Here." Tyson took off his own pair of gloves and offered them to the taller man.

"I am fine," Kai shrugged off, coughing a few more times into his fist. Tyson cocked his head to the side and gave a worrisome glance. "What?"

"You aren't coming down with anything are you? That sounds like a nasty cough you got there…should you be out here in the snow?" Kai gulped. He didn't want Tyson to know. Kai didn't want to be treated differently by his former teammate, so he shook his head. "Take the gloves, Kai." Tyson once again shoved them into Kai's face.

"I told you, I am fine. I don't need them. What's with the boxes?"

"Oh! Christmas shopping of course! Lets see, Gramps is going to get his present when he gets back home from that cruise Dad and Hitoshi got him…Rei's…Max's…Kenny's…Mr. D's…Tala's…Wyatt's…Zeo's…Kane's …a few guys at the college you don't know… oh and of course yours!" Tyson smiled mysteriously. Kai rose a brow; he hadn't gotten a present since…err…well forever.

"You didn't have to…give it to a charity or something," he coughed.

"NO! I got it just for you!" exclaimed Tyson reaching down to gather all the boxes in his arms that he could. Kai bent down and picked up the rest of the bags. "Thanks Kai. Do you think you could help me take them over to my car? It's juts over there!" Kai grunted, walking over towards the Dragon's car.

Settling everything in, Tyson shut the trunk and shook his hair, letting all the snowflakes loosen of his hair and infamous hat.

"Thanks again, and sorry for bumping into you!"

"No, problem," he coughed again. Tyson frowned.

"You sure you aren't sick? Come with me! I'm going back to the dorms anyway! I'll make you some hot chocolate!"

"That's OK, Tyson. I am fine-"

"I won't forgive myself if you get sick!"

_But I already am…_

"Please Kai! Pretty please?" Tyson have the elder chibi eyes. Kai just narrowed his own at Tyson, who continued to give him the same look.

"You aren't going to give up until I agree…" Tyson nodded his head. Kai just glared and opened the door.

"Yippie!" Tyson slid into the driver's seat.

"You haven't changed," growled Kai staring out his window. Tyson blushed and started the car. Kai then remember he never sat in the car with Tyson driving before. He just prayed they would not crash.

_You're going to die anyway…no matter what the doctors say… _

"You haven't changed either, Mr. Sourpuss! Well, expect when you turned evil in Russia that short time all those years ago…" Kai folded his arms as Tyson backed out of the parking space.

_Russia… the Abbey…_

"Lets not go there," he growled.


	4. Plans

**Authoress' Note**: Sorry for the long update again... I've been having issues trying to figure out what to do next! But now... Christmas and NewYears are coming! plus... more angst...

**Disclaimer**: the usual

_

* * *

_

Chapter 4  
_When all you need is a friend to lean on to…_

"Careful!" cried Tyson as Kai wobbled on the stairwell with a heavy box in hand. The Russian groaned as he fixed his footing and proceeded up with the dragon.

This was definitely not what he had bargained for when he agreed to let Tyson drive him home, yet he had made it safely back to the dorms in one piece. To be all-honest, Tyson was not that bad of a driver, not that Kai wished to test his luck again.

Then again, even though Tyson's driving was sane, his taste in music was nothing short of detesting to Kai's ears. On a normal occasion, he was just fine with ColdFusion, Story of the Year, and Lost Prophets. But he did not have a hankering for listening to a mix of American Broadway show tunes, punk, pop, and jazz. It just wasn't his taste.

And it also didn't help when Tyson sang—err attempted to sing would have been more politically correct. With as skilled as Tyson was with a beyblade, the man could not hold a tune if his life depended on it.

So with the mixture of Kai's idea of bad music, Tyson's wailing, and his killer lungs, Kai would say he had better days in his life before…none which he brought up in his mind though.

Opening his dorm room, Tyson led Kai into the living space and showed him where to put down his bags and boxes. Setting them down, Kai could feel his lungs heaving because of the icy cold air still inside of him.

Going outside that long probably wasn't one of his wisest ideas lately, not that he would admit that out loud.

"Thanks again, Kai. Here…sit down, and I'll make us some soup and tea!" exclaimed Tyson talking Kai's coat from him. It was more like Tyson was practically ripping it off of the taller man' body. Flustered for a second, Kai found his sense and pulled out the small stool next to the cluttered desk and rested on it, covering his mouth to cough yet again.

"That is one wicked cough you got there, Kai. How long have you had it?"

Kai held in his groan, not wanted to answer the question that his former teammate had placed down on the table for him. He wanted to avoid it at all costs.

"Uh…what kind of soup are you making?"

"Chicken noodle…my favorite!" Kai nodded and proceeded to let his eyes wander around the small dorm room of Tyson's.

Half of the room was completely trashed with things thrown everywhere. Dirty and used clothes were scattered all over the bed and dressers, books and papers were sprawled out over the desk, and the dishes in the sink looked like they had been sitting there for a bit.

The other half of the room was clear and clean with only the new bags and boxes to taint it. Obviously Tyson's roommate went home for the long break.

Tyson on the other hand was rather embarrassed about his style of…house keeping. But he never let that show, seeing as Kai didn't bring it up.

"You here alone?" Tyson looked up from the stove and shrugged as if it was no big deal to him. Kai hadn't met Tyson's roommate, Damon, before, but according to Tala, the guy was practically kicked out of school already.

"It's OK really. Damon was rarely here anyway. He was always at some party or bar. I don't mind the quiet though. It is pretty nice not waking up to the smell of cigarettes and alcohol every now and then…What about you? Tala still around?"

"Yeah. He's out with his girlfriend right now. It is not like we really have anywhere to go…"

"What about your mansion and such? With your grandfather in jail for life now; don't you get his money or something? Your inheritance?" Kai shook his head.

"The house and his things were all sold."

"Oh. I see." Tyson bit his lip, trying to think of something…_anything_ too keep this conversation going. "Well then, if you are still here over break, do you have any plans? Are you doing anything with anyone while school's out?"

Kai sat back, crossing his arms as a hidden smirk appeared on his face. Plans? He hadn't really thought of those before. Maybe he should, seeing as though his time was ticking away.

_My plans for the break? Hmm… Well, let's see. My winter break would include daily visits to the chemotherapy and radiation treatments…oh that after that I am going to barf my guts out. I will be taking all those goddamned pills, which are just the doctor's idea of a false hope. _

_Can't forget about Tala babying me. Then there is the coming to the conclusion that Grandfather and Balkov finally finished me off this time…_

"Dude… Kai… you there? Kai… you're totally spacing out on me!" said Tyson waving the wooden spoon in front of Kai' face. Blinking, Kai noticed the bluenette standing in front of him.

"Sorry. I don't have much planned-"

"GREAT! I don't either! We can hang out with each other until school starts again! Well not that I wouldn't mind hanging when school starts again either…oh it will be so much fun!" Kai was taking back a bit by Tyson's sudden and unexpected outburst. "I always wanted to see this new horror film, and …"

Tyson went on rambling everything that the two former teammates could possibly do on their month off of school. Kai just sat there, letting Tyson have his fun. He knew that he couldn't do half of what Tyson wanted to do. For him, it wasn't mentally possible for him anymore. Tyson soon brought over the two bowls of hot soup and returned with the cups of hot tea. Tyson sat down on his bed next to Kai, and handed him his cup and bowl.

The warm liquid felt good against the phoenix's sore throat. He hadn't truly realized how cold he had bee from before. Kai's bit his tongue in between the sips. He didn't want to rain on Tyson's parade, as the dragon continued to list even more options for them to do.

"That sounds great and all Tyson, but…"

"Oh, I get it. You don't want to hang out with me. Don't sweat it! I understand completely, Kai. You never really were one for 'hanging out'. And if it wasn't anymore obvious as to where you got the nickname, Mr. Sourpants…"

"I didn't mean it like that," Kai cringed, wanting to take back his words. "Wait… what did you call me?" Tyson grinned behind his soup bowl and quickly stuffed another spoonful into his mouth with a cheesy smile.

"I meant… that is a _lot_ to do. Not that you shouldn't do what you want… but aren't you meeting with Rei or Max anytime during break? What about your family?" Kai mentally growled at the use of the word. It was as if a light bulb clicked on in Tyson's head.

"OH! I completely forgot! Rei and Max are coming over for a New Year's Eve celebration! You can join us if you want too! They would love it if you came!"

"Um… I'll think about it." Kai just never liked it when Tyson got all excited, only to be shut down. He had done that before and Kai knew it hurt Tyson more than he ever led on.

"Great. So… I say we go to the movies tonight!"

"I haven an appointment tonight, and don't you have to warp those gifts?" asked Kai before having another spoonful of the canned chicken soup.

"Good point there… So then tomorrow. We'll do something tomorrow," quickly stated Tyson, finishing up his soup. Kai nodded and mentally sighed. He would eventually have to give into to Tyson's arrangements… maybe he could work his appointments for later at night…

* * *

When Kai got back to his dorm room, he noticed Tala was still gone. Honestly, Kai was rather pleased not to run into a confrontation with the red head about his absence from the room when he returned. Kai really did not want to hear another fun filled lecture with Tala about how he has to think more about the choices he makes.

Glancing over to the clock, it read 5:30 PM. He hadn't really noticed how late it had gotten, or how long he had stayed at Tyson's while the overly excited guy planned out their entire break. Tyson had rattled off about a dozen movies he wanted to see, a couple restaurants he wanted to test out, some snowboarding trip, then there was…

Kai yawned as the thought of actually doing _all_ of that hit him. There was not way he could do that…not with his—err—current condition. Sure Tyson was all excited and bouncing as he was plotting out the month, and Kai just sat there…not really answering him back.

Luckily the presents came back to Tyson's mind and he practically shoved Kai out of the room so he could start wrapping. And now, Kai was alone again, just as he had been before he decided for that walk.

5:30… that meant two more hours until he had to go to the hospital for yet another…session. That sounded better to him than chemotherapy. Two hours to himself.

Two hours…two hours… What the hell was he going to do in those two hours… what was he going to do _after_ those two hours. What about the next day? Next month? Next year? Kai's fists clenched tightly and he threw his fist into the wall.

Ignoring the pain in his knuckles, Kai stormed over to the desk and ripped out a notepad and a pen. He wrote down everything that came to his mind, every thought, want, memory… He started jotting down his plans for this year, his goals… why? Why not. It wasn't like he was going anywhere…

Scribbling down on the pad, the time ticked away faster than Kai could have anticipated. Glancing at the alarm clock, the red numbers were blinking a 6:45. Putting his pen down and carefully locking the notepad in his drawer, Kai gathered up his things and grabbed his keys.

Walking down towards the leveled parking garage, a few people ran into Kai, knocking his aside slightly as he turned his shoulders to lessen the impact. Normally he would have threatened them or something, but he practically ignored them as he made his way to the elevator.

It didn't take long for him to pull out of his parking space and drive down the levels. Once again, his car was blasting some music. It was by a newer group, Between Home and Serenity, that he had found to not be a bother to him. At least they were **not** Justin Timberlake… Tyson was going to learn one day…

_"Now that this coffin lid is closed, I'm left on my own here, staring out in front of me. There is nothing left that I could do to retrace these footsteps back to you…"_

As luck happened, Kai hit every single red light on the way to the hospital. The usual 15-minute drive turned into a half an hour procedure. The holiday rush was getting to the people and was not calming down. Kai just tapped his fingers impatiently on the rim of the steering wheel, as the bumper-to-bumper traffic was not letting up.

The longer he sat in the car, the longer he had time to actually think about the future. A lot of what ifs came to his mind as he couldn't drown them out with the loud, blasting music threatening to bust his speaker system.

Parking in a vacant spot in the hospital's visitor section, Kai sighed as he turned off his car. Each visit was getting more and more pain in his realization. And now he was yet again…alone.

* * *

As he made his way to the receptionist's desk, he rattled off his name and sat down in the waiting room, which already had a few others in the occupied room.

Crossing his arms, closing his eyes, and placing a set of headphones on, Kai ignored those still in the room, but that didn't stop others from noticing him. There were two kids in there, and their mothers were busy drowning themselves in their books and music. He himself had just to actually turn on any music of his own.

"Hey! That's my toy!"

"Come on! You have to share sometime!"

"No I don't!"

"Hey, isn't that Kai Hiwatari?" asked a little boy playing with some toy Kai had not taken to acknowledging.

"Yeah! He was a Blade Breaker, but lost a World Championship to Tyson Kinomiya!" whispered a girl towards the boy. Kai appeared that he didn't hear them… he didn't care what they said.

"He's a wash out! I heard he hasn't spun a blade in YEARS!"

"My mom told me that he is an ex-convict! Not that I know what that means, but according to my mom, that's not a good thing!" she whispered.

"I heard he has something to do with the street gang fights that have been breaking out locally. My big brother almost got caught up in one of those! Daddy wasn't happy with that…"

Kai resisted the eye twitch of annoyance. What did they know anyway? They were stupid kids… And those stupid kids ran off to the other side of the waiting room, when their mother's glances landed on Kai.

"I heard he's a child molester, just like his grandfather…" whispered one of the mothers, obviously thinking he was too busy with his CD player.

"Yes. That's what I heard too…also something about him planning on springing his grandfather from jail. I hear that he's planning on trying to take over the world again…"

"I wonder what he's doing here?"

"What ever it is… it must not be good."

"Kai Hiwatari?" Kai's eyes snapped open, causing the mothers to jump back into their books as if nothing had happened, as if they had not said anything about him. Kai stood up to see a nurse standing behind him with a plastic smile.

"If you would follow me…" she chirped. Taking off his headphones, Kai followed her patiently and quietly down towards the elevator behind the desk. Traveling up a few floors, she directed Kai to a room. Sighing, he proceeded in for another round of his torment…

* * *

OK! This finally took me too long to write... So sorry! I love my fic, I just don't like my brain right now! Now... those Justin Timberlake fans out there...no hard feelings. I just don't like him at all! And seeing this is _my_ story... it is just fine for me to write!

Please R and R... and please don't flame... I've been getting a LOT of those lately... with other fics...

**Reborn by my tears**  
_lil phoenix_


	5. Believe

**Authoress Note:** Sorry for the long update. I finally sat down and typed this up.  
**Disclaimer:** The boys and Hilary aren't mine. The lyrics are "Believe" by Breaking Benjamins... might make a few mores chapters with their songs... they are great!

* * *

**Chapter 5  
**_Believe_

* * *

_-Don't tread the water  
Just stay still  
I'll not be bothered  
By you until  
I'm picking sides  
And pulling the strings  
I'm living lies  
And shedding the skin  
I'm open wide  
And letting you in  
I'm wronging rights-_

Tyson tapped his foot impatiently on the ugly gray carpeted area, glancing between the clock on the wall and the door of the gate every thirty seconds. The bluenette was not one for waiting and this was certainly no exception to that rule as he waited for his two best friends to arrive. The plane had been expected to have already arrived ten minutes prior, and it was driving Tyson up the wall.

"Calm down, Tyson. You are going to stomp a hole in the ground and burn the clock off the wall with your glare if you don't chill out!" exclaimed Hilary flipping through her magazine as she sat in a seat next to the impatient dragon who proceeded to stick out his tongue at the brunette.

"Sorry if I was disturbing your important studying there of…what is it? 'How to paint toe nails to their potential?' What the fuck is that garbage?" he asked glancing over the article Hilary's eyes had been fixed on.

"I'll have you know that is only _part_ of the article, thank you!"

"What? Is the other part about how to save a third world country from the ever growing threat of foot fungus?"

"That is just sick and disturbing, Tyson. No. It is on how different style of open toed shoes can really show off your feet."

"You are hopeless! I liked it better when you were all about making mud pies."

"Which if I remember correct, and I always am correct, I would throw them at your face. What is with you anyway? You have been edgy ever since Christmas morning. Something is bugging you. What is it? I'm hear to listen," she said folding shut her magazine, and shifting in her seat.

"Nothing is wrong Hil. What is it with everyone? You wake up a little cranky one day and suddenly the dawn of the apocalypse is upon us!"

Hilary wrinkled her nose at him. " 'Everyone'? … Oh, are you still mad Kai didn't come over for Christmas?" Hilary asked ask sincerely as she could. "You know he probably already had plans…"

"With _me_ Hil. Kai and I planned to spend the break together and go to the movies, bowling, caroling on Christmas Eve…"

"Kai…caroling?" Hilary almost fell out of her chair in laughter about the stoic Russian singing in front of random people about peace, good will, and everlasting joy. "Sounds more to me that _you_ planned that, not Kai." Tyson crossed his arms and turned to face away from Hilary.

"He agreed to it all a couple of days before Christmas. And when I dropped off his present Christmas Eve, he didn't answer. And I checked on him yesterday. The present was still outside his door as if it had never been touched! I went to all that trouble picked out his present and working a double shift to afford it and he wouldn't touch it!"

"You're a little over the edge. Maybe he's not in his dorm. He might have gone home for a few days. Think Tyson…for once!" groaned Hilary.

"For your information Miss I-Know-Everything, Kai told me he sold all his houses and had no where else to live right now!"

"Geez, you are very touchy about this… oh, I get it."

"What? What do you get?" asked Tyson slowly turning back to face his friend.

_-Believe  
I don't care what you want  
I just want mine  
Shut up  
Smart little bitch  
I don't need lies  
I don't care what you want  
I just want mine  
Get up  
Force it to fit  
Confined inside-_

"You have a major crush on Kai! Now don't try and deny it! He is all you ever talk about! 'Kai this', 'Kai that', 'Kai said', 'I hope Kai liked his present'…" Hilary rang off in a mocking tone.

"That is absurd! I-"

"Tyson, you haven't even asked me if I liked my present. And right now you are so fixated on Kai's 'disappearance' that you aren't thinking straight…not that you ever did."

"You think he's ok?"

"See, you just missed my crack about you."

"I am not like that!"

"Oh, you aren't are you? Then why is it you only talk about him, try to please him, gain his approval, and why did you rearrange your schedule last semester to be in his classes? And why don't you see Rei and Max waving frantically at you as if their arms are going to fall off?"

Tyson spun around to see the American and Chinese boys walking through the gate with their packs on their backs and doing just as Hilary had claimed them to be doing. As they arrived over, Tyson's expression flipped and he embraced the two of them in a giant bear hug.

"We are happy to see you too buddy!" laughed Rei managing to breath in the midst of the hug. "So are we going to kick this New Year's Eve celebration or what?" Tyson laughed and led his former teammates towards the parking lot.

"So how has your break been so far?" asked Tyson, stepping into the driver's seat while Max had called shotgun and Rei and Hilary slipped into the passenger seats. Tyson easily pulled out of the parking spot as Max and Rei went on about the things they each had planned to do before their colleges started up again. Hilary kept asking how their old friends were doing as well, and they only received compliments about the White Tiger X and the PBB All Star teams.

"So how have you been spending your time off?" asked Max winking, but leaving Tyson in the dark as to why.

"Well, I was suppose to hang with Kai, but he disappeared again," Tyson replied trying to no sound as depressed about it as much as he really was. Hilary was the only one who caught on to the dragon's disappointment.

"That's what Kai was always good for, since we first met him," laughed Max. "He always managed to disappear from under our noses without a trace. I was ready to draw a 'Where's Kai' book instead of 'Waldo'!" Rei and Hilary burst into laughter at the joke as Tyson also found a little humor in Max's comment.

"Yeah, but he never let us down," Rei pointed out. "I'm sure he'll show up when we last expect it!"

"Doesn't Tala also go to your college? How is he doing? Are we going to run into him?" questioned Max.

"No, he went to his girlfriend's for a New Year's Eve Party. He probably will be gone for another week. Knowing Hayasa, she's going to drag him on a vacation with her," giggled Hilary.

They pulled into the college parking lot and Tyson and Hilary led their two friends to Tyson's dorm, which Hilary had spend the few days she had come back to the college cleaning up. Rei immediately took over the kitchen area, exiling the other three from the said section of the dorm. Meanwhile Hilary, Tyson and Max were arguing over which movie they would watch first to start off their movie marathon.

Finally settling on _Troy_, much to Hilary's delight to see the opening scene of Brad Pitt's role (A/N: If you ever saw Troy you would agree with me and Hilary and faint), Rei brought out some sandwiches and bowls of chips, popcorn, and pretzels, and of course a case of soda. Tyson couldn't help but point out Achilles' "flaws" in the movie just because it would annoy Hilary to death. Rei and Max couldn't hide their laughter when Hilary finally had enough of Tyson as he jokingly cheered during Achilles' death scene, and dumped the bowl of popcorn on Tyson's head.

Seeing as it was only 8:30 PM when the movie concluded, they put in the third Lord Of the Rings and immediately got hooked into the film. No one noticed when Rei got up in the middle of the movie to cook the shrimp and prepare what was left of food.

When the phone rang during the last twenty minutes of the movie, it was only then did Tyson snap out of his trance to the movie.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tyson. I just wanted to phone an early Happy New Year."

"You too Tala. How's Hayasa's family treating you? I can tell you are at least still alive," he sniggered into the telephone.

"Har har har. Well they are all too drunk to think straight. How's everything over there?"

"Great! Max, Hilary, and Rei are all over."

"Oh…Kai? He's not over there?

"He's not in his dorm. I told him he was invited to come and join us, but he disappeared again."

"Oh, he's in his dorm…err…can you check on him for me please?"

"Sure! Is there something wrong with him?"

"No. No. I just don't want him to be alone for New Years. I know it is not fun."

"OK. I'll go and drag him out. Talk to you later." As Tyson hung up the phone, he felt as if something wasn't right. Tala had sounded so sure that Kai was in his dorm room, but then why hadn't the phoenix replied to his messages or answered when he knocked on the door? It didn't make any sense at all to the bluenette.

"That was Tala?" asked Hilary.

"Yeah. He just wanted to say Happy New Years. I'll be right back. I'm going to go and get Kai over here."

"But I thought Kai disappeared again?" asked Rei.

"Me too, but Tala sounded rather sure that he has been in his dorm. I'll be right back."

Tyson left the room and hurried as quickly as he could towards Kai's dorm room. Why would Kai deliberately hide from him just after they had made plans to hang out together during the break? Tyson wondered if this was Kai's way of telling him that he did not want to be around Tyson anymore. Did Kai hate him?

Many more questions like that buzzed around in the dragon's head until he reached the familiar door that Kai lived behind. Sucking in his breath, it took Tyson what seemed like an eternity to knock on the door, when in reality it was just a few minutes.

15 seconds…30…Tyson knocked again feeling his stomach tie up in knots with each passing minute. "Kai? Kai I know you're in there!" Casually glancing down, Tyson noticed the present had disappeared. So Mr. Sour pants _was_ home. Another 10 seconds slowly passed until Tyson heard the door handle jerk. The door was not opened with much haste nor was it opened enough to be welcoming to the dragon.

_-Don't pull me under  
Into the deep  
I often wonder  
How it should be  
I'm picking sides  
And pulling the strings  
I'm living lies  
And shedding the skin  
I'm open wide  
And letting you  
I'm wronging rights-_

Kai stood between the door and Tyson's view of the pitch-black room. His hair was in disarray and one side of it was pressed flat against his head as if he had been sleeping for some time. He was dressed in a simple gray shirt and black sweat pants. The room behind him had a lingering odor, which caused Tyson's nose to wrinkle in his distaste for the smell.

But what caught Tyson's by surprise was Kai's face. His lips where cracked and the corners of his mouth were bright red, as if he had been burned by something. His eyes were rather dull and in them it looked like he had popped a few blood vessels. He had heavy bags set under his eyes. Basically the phoenix looked like a wreck.

"What do you want Tyson?" Kai croaked through his dry throat. Tyson didn't know what to say, caught in the shock of what he saw. "Listen, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Could you make this quick?"

"I can see that. I was just wondering…err I came over to see if you would want to come over to my room and celebrate New Years Eve with Hilary and me. Rei and Max are over as well. But if you don't feel well that is understandable," he managed to reply, disappointment lingering in his tone.

"Thanks for the invitation Tyson, but I'll have to pass…"

"I see you got your present… I hope you liked it."

"Oh, yeah… I did… thanks." Kai seemed to be in a daze.

"Well, I'll let you get back to sleep. If you need anything just let me know! I'll b happy to help!"

"Thanks…" With that Kai shut the door. Tyson cringed at the sight he had just witnessed.

_Wow, that explains why he hasn't been around lately. I probably always caught him when he was sleeping or in the bathroom. Poor Kai. He must have caught something when I ran into him during my shopping spree. I told him to put on that damned pair of gloves! I would if he really liked the present. He didn't seem really enthusiastic about it when I asked, especially since it as his first present…_

_-I don't care what you want  
I just want mine  
I don't care what you want  
I just want mine  
Shut up  
Smart little bitch  
I don't need lies  
I don't care what you want  
I just want mine  
Get up  
Force it to fit  
Confined inside  
My dead eyes-_

Kai had ignored all the knocks on his door and let the answering machines on both the room phone and his cell phone pick up any calls he was receiving. The only time he did answer or return a call was when it came as a call from the hospital, his doctor, or Tala. He knew if he didn't reply to the red head, the Russian would think the worst and assume Kai to be dead.

He couldn't bring himself to get out of his bed for much. Even though he had been going to his sessions for about a month, Kai could feel the affects of those sessions draining him. Kai had been in top physical shape prior, but the toll that he had on his lung and now the rest of his body made him frail.

His doctor had informed him that he was going to be away during the last week of December and the first two weeks into January, so he gave Kai a special container that was fused with a needle the doctor injected into Kai's blood stream. This container held a supplement to chemotherapy drugs. While the doctor was gone, Kai had been instructed to turn on the miniature machine once a day, everyday for twenty minutes, no more, no less.

The only incentive Kai held was the same hope that he'd be cured quicker. But with each day, Kai felt growing more and more ill from this chemo treatment. His nausea became more frequent and he barely could make it to the toilet or the sink anymore. Kai could feel himself deteriorate from the inside out. His nausea medication had stopped helping and Kai was seldom taking it anymore.

Stumbling back into his bed and pulling up the cover to his nose, Kai's eyes wandered over to the bookshelf hanging on the wall. Aside of a mixture of both Tala and Kai's college books was a newly placed ornament. A red, orange, and gold colored glass figurine of a phoenix rising out of its ashes in its vibrate colors now rested on the shelf. Its gracefully twisted body and wide wingspan with such fine detail had captivated Kai when he had first discovered the present outside of his dorm room. Christmas had escaped Kai's mind during his personal chemo sessions, but when Kai opened the card resting in the parted beak of the phoenix, a mixture of foreign feelings flooded in his mind.

_"Dear Kai, _

_I can't express how grateful I am to know someone like you. You've always been there since we first met down at the river when you headed the Blade Sharks. You never were one for holding a conversation at any means of length, but you didn't need to, because just your presence was enough. You always did try and keep my head out of the clouds, and you still do. I was shocked when you told me you don't get Christmas presents, so I hope this one will be the start of a new beginning. When I saw it I immediately thought of you and Dranzer. Merry Christmas Kai and have a Happy New Year._

_-Tyson."_

The letter was still resting on the desk where he had left it since it's opening. He didn't know how he felt or could explain the foreign emotions running through him, but he preferred those feeling that the ones that he had currently been over run with.

Sighing, Kai shifted his weight away from leaning on his "Chemo-in-a-box" hooked onto the sweat pants on his left hip. Closing his eyes Kai could only imagine what fun Tyson was having with his former teammates and Hilary.

The room was probably trashed ten fold that what it was when Kai had seen it over a week ago. Food would most likely be scattered on various locations of the room, and the four would be reminiscing about the past, bringing up long forgotten memories about tournaments, battles, and old friends. Talks about the future were probably wedged into the laughter. At the stroke of midnight, hidden silly string containers will be revealed, covering the four friends in assorted color in their child's play.

The bluenette couldn't help but feel the emptiness hit him again; it was getting harder and harder to feel any glimpse of hope of his survival. It was time to start to distance himself from everyone, including Tala, because he was never going to be able to say good-bye to anyone...


End file.
